Writing for internal comms: why quotes matter and how to write them
When bored comms teams write famous quotes
This article shows you how to write quotes that will bring some zing to your corporate communications.
First, we’ll look at why you should include quotes, then we’ll talk about how to write and format them.
Spoiler, they will not look like this:
“We’re excited to announce a new partnership with Big Co,” said Sunshine Desserts CEO, Charles Jefferson.
Did a little bit of you just die with boredom?
Rule one: No quote beginning “We’re excited…” will ever excite a reader – neither will your CEO being thrilled, delighted or passionate about something.
As a journalist, I used to firmly ignore such quotes. Your workforce will do the same.
But unlike hacks, who must make do with quotes they are given, comms teams have the luxury of writing them from scratch (with the permission of the person being quoted – that’s rule two btw).
Before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s look at why quotes are so useful:
Three reasons to include a quote in company news stories
Quotes provide insight
The main body of a news article comprises facts; a quote is your chance to put them in context. What does your speaker think about the new deal with Big Co and, more importantly, what does it mean for the reader?
It’s the difference between A and B:
A: “I’m excited to be the first man on the moon.”
B: “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”
Neil Armstrong didn’t tell us something we could have guessed, but gave us the bigger picture about what his mission meant (he even fluffed his lines, and it’s still a great quote).
NB – I’m not suggesting you should be excited about Sunshine’s stateside success, but you’re not the intended reader. If we were chasing some coverage with a press release, I might go for something like:
“We’re bringing spotted dick to the land of doughnuts.”
2. Quotes humanise communications
Which of the following would make you feel good about working for Citi?
A: The HR department is excited to announce it is granting all employees an extra day off in recognition of their hard work during the recent pandemic.
B: Citi chief executive, Michael Corbat says, "Please take the day to relax and enjoy time with your families. We need to take care of ourselves."
Phrase B wins for two reasons:
It creates a sense of familiarity – readers are more likely to engage with a statement from someone they know and can picture, rather than a faceless department.
It shows that Citi’s leadership is authentic about its commitment to employee wellbeing.
To summarise, quotes add familiarity and authenticity to anything you send out.
3. Quotes break up formatting
People don’t read online news, they scan. Rather than reading top to bottom, your reader will flibbertigibbet around looking for key information.
They are likely to skip large chunks of text, so it’s good practice to break them up with formatting, such as sub-headers and quotes.
So far, you’ve read over 500 words of this article, all broken down into small paragraphs. Imagine it was in one big text chunk – how far would you have got? I’ll spare you an example.
How to write quotes for internal communications – a checklist
This new-hire announcement isn’t Shakespeare
Rule 1: (I’m going to repeat it as long as you keep doing it) No quote beginning “We’re excited…” will ever excite a reader – neither will your CEO being thrilled, delighted or passionate about something.
Rule 2: If you are writing a quote on behalf of someone else, always get it approved before publication.
Rule 3: Ensure your quote offers insight that means something to the reader. What does the speaker really think about a topic? Is it human and authentic?
A new hire – what impressed the speaker about them? Why were they hired?
“Reginald is highly regarded in the desserts world, both for his success in international expansion and the warmth with which he shares his expertise with others. He is the perfect leader to guide us in the American market.
A new bike to work scheme – the ‘whys’ can be covered in the copy, perhaps the speaker could tell you what it means for them personally.
“I haven’t been on a bike since I was a boy, but have picked out my gear and can’t wait to join the Sunshine Desserts peloton in creating a greener and fitter community.”
A health and safety announcement – make it personal
“Our top priority is ensuring that you return to your family each night without injury. The Stop-Check-Continue programme will ingrain everyday habits to continue our industry-beating safety record.”
How to punctuate a quote
First stop for things like this should be your company’s style guide. If you don’t have one, here is some good practice.
Always start a quote on a new line.
Put the person’s job title before their name.
Use ‘Head of Flavourings, Susan Evans,’ instead of ‘Susan Evans, Head of Flavourings.’
This frontloads important context for our flighty online reader: they may not know who Susan Evans is, but they know what a flavourings technician is. This is less important if the speaker is well known, e.g. Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook CEO.
Avoid incomplete/partial quotes. They just look messy, as though you couldn’t quite be bothered to finish the…[annoying huh?].
Replace: Charles Jefferson said that the move would “benefit the Climthorpe factory.”
With: “The move will benefit the Climthorpe factory,” said Charles Jefferson.
Use double quotes (unless your style guide says otherwise or you’re in the US).
In British English, single quotes are generally used in books, but doubles in newspapers. I personally equate corporate comms with news, so favour doubles.
The following is a good basic punctuation for a quote.
JOB TITLE + NAME + SAID + COMMA + OPENING QUOTE + WHAT THEY SAID + CLOSING PUNCTUATION + CLOSING QUOTE
Sunshine Desserts CEO, Charles Jefferson said, “Blah blah blah.”
Team Exercise
Pick a week and make it ‘quote week’.
Every time you write something that includes a quote, haul it out and give it the once-over using the above steps. Throw it around among the team to gain feedback. Give it the same love you would a headline. Soon they will be a natural part of your writing process. Let me know how you get on.
Next topic, you decide
I started this series after providing copyediting services for various communications teams and noticing common pain points . My aim is to ‘go micro’ on a given topic each week, such as how to structure a news story, how to simplify your writing, and how to write for different audiences. What else would you like me to cover? Let me know in the comments below.
About me
I am a copywriter and communicator who helps companies of all sizes – from tech start-ups to global consultancies – with all things copy-related. My services include bespoke training, content strategy, copyediting, and, of course, my favourite thing, writing. You can contact me on mail@emmavickers.com